Hempnall FC

Scole vs Hempnall There is a lot to be said for getting off to a slow start, as the ex Norwich City FC Chairman, Robert Chase so poignantly put it, 'We arrrhh on a maraaaathon to success'.

Notice he didn't say sprint!!! Our first league game of the season took us to Scole, not the easiest place to go and collect 3 points, but this was the perfect place to execute our plan of starting the league at a gentle pace!!

The plan went something like this...we'd firstly allowed their keeper to score within the first 15 minutes, then we'd make Alex 'the tortoise' Chapman fall over and break his arm. 5 minutes later we'd handle the ball inside the box and get sent off, give away a pen and allow them to score.

In the second half we'd make our substitutions and then bring another player off, David 'the faker' Storey, leaving us with 9 players on a day which has been likened to conditions found in the heart of Helmand Province, extreme heat, not much water and constant attacks!

The plan was executed to perfection, we'll lulled all of the Division 2 teams in to thinking we'd got spanked when actually we'd planned this all along!!!

Seriously, the positives were, that we now had a clear understanding of how competitive Division 2 will be. We'd blown away any cobwebs and we've hopefully have got all the bad luck out the way for the rest of the season!!

Players who impressed were Richard 'Everton Fan' Leather, who came on and took the game to Scole in an attacking sense. Also our new youthful left back, Aaron 'Ashley Cole' Haynes. Finally Adam 'pretty boy' Willis who battled away for 90 mins and put in a sterling performance in midfield.

I want to wish Alex 'one arm' Chapman a quick return to fitness after breaking his arm, from a horrible late tackle. Onwards and Upwards

Final Score: Scole 1 (+6 ) Hempnall Res 0